>> Memories are like little stars which shine consolatoryly through our grief <<
This is one of my favorite condolence verses. I needed to write quite many in the last years and really, I would be glad if this will stop. Soon. Now.
As I noticed yesterday night, an acquaintance died. He was ran over by a train, Friday night. At the age of 20. No one knows how this could have happened.
My "bro" died nearly 4 years ago, at the age of 19. (He wasn't my real brother but a very very close friend and we felt like siblings to each other.) He got an accident while driving around with his motorbike. The truck in front of him applied the brakes all of a sudden and he got under the truck and was dead, immediately.
And there were a lot of other young, very young people who died by car accidents or something. This is so horrible and I don't get it. And those are the time I'm not sure if there's a God. I know there is one but it makes it hard to believe. Why does he take those young and nice people from us? I mean, if one is 83 years old and is dying of some physical infirmity it's quite sad at all but it's OK. Don't misunderstand me, I hope you'll get it right.
But what the hell does He think when taking away those kids? They are still kids, there's a lot of life to experience out there which is so worth to get known to. Why don't they get the chance?
I really believe in God. I'm a Christ, an ex-ministrant. I know He has his reasons. I hope He has his reasons, good reasons. But I don't get it?
Sometimes, I thought that we aren't good people if such a bereavement happens to us. Maybe He wants to victimize us? But this is as illogical as the other stuff.
Those are the moments, I want to talk to Him, face to face. Just to make him tell me the reason for this move...
>> But I trusted in thee, oh Lord. I said: Thou are my God. My times are in thy hand... <<
(Psalm 31, 15)